A lot of people think that building business relationships requires mingling at events and speaking at conferences. While those actions can boost visibility, they don’t necessarily foster significant connections. Relationship building in business, especially in emerging markets, is rooted in much smaller actions and gestures that demonstrate care and consistency, thereby building trust. Sometimes, the gesture can be as simple as sharing food.
Turning a Potential Adversary into an Ally: The Salted Almonds Story
In the early 1990s, shortly after the start of the sanctions in Iraq, my father bought a family home in a nice area of Baghdad. Unbeknownst to him, that area—thanks to its proximity to a river—would become highly desirable among government officials who supported the regime of Saddam Hussein. Within a few years, it became prime real estate.
The presence of government officials in the neighborhood had security implications that affected everyone who lived there, even if they weren’t affiliated with the regime. The palaces that Saddam built for his officials were heavily guarded. There were even guards in civilian clothes patrolling the streets to keep them secure, and they would sometimes stop people at random.
One day, I was driving home in the family car when a guard stopped me. He started asking me questions, which I answered. Then I asked him: “Do you want some salted almonds?” My father loves salted almonds, so the family car always had a stash tucked away, like a squirrel. The guard eagerly said yes, and I gave him a handful of almonds.
In Iraq and many emerging markets, people want to know “What can you do for me?” The motivation is not a selfish one but a desire to see genuine concern for the community. In countries with a history of foreign conflict, this becomes even more critical—an argument for understanding the history of an emerging market when working there. This becomes especially true when, for decades, locals have witnessed foreign companies extracting resources like oil and minerals without contributing meaningfully to the community or investing in local development.
Given this context, it’s understandable that grand corporate gestures or promises will be viewed with skepticism. Instead, the best way to build relationships is often to do something small—give the proverbial salted almonds. Here are some examples of small ethical gestures in line with servant leadership principles that I found impactful in building relationships in Iraq:
- Give out promotional items (pens, notepads): These small items show you’re thinking of people beyond the immediate transaction and create tangible reminders of your partnership.
- Offer food and drink at meetings: I always advise Western leaders in Iraq, “Have food on the table.” It’s basic hospitality in the country.
- Issue lunch invitations to celebrate accomplishments: Rather than a cash bonus that might raise ethical concerns, sharing a meal to honor someone’s work meets cultural expectations while strengthening personal connections.
- Organize educational trips for employees: Including paid training in contracts demonstrates long-term commitment to workers and benefits both the company and Iraq’s rebuilding efforts.
- Support community projects (schools, medical facilities): Rather than giving money to officials—which crosses ethical lines—suggest collaborating on projects that benefit everyone.
Relationship Building Through Small, Genuine Gestures—Not Big, Empty Promises
Such “salted almonds” actions need to be tailored to the culture and community. However, the principle stands that these smaller acts can be far more meaningful than grand promises. Simple human connection is the common denominator. In emerging markets in particular, relationships aren’t built in conference rooms; they’re built through consistent demonstrations of respect and care for the community and the country you are operating in.